"Let go and let God." "Allow instead of trying to force or control."
"Go after what you want!" "Don't let fear stand in your way!"
Well, which is it?!?! This spiritual journey can get confusing, can't it? There isn't one right answer - there are times you need to allow and times you need to go after what you want. You just have to figure out which it's going to be.
Everyone has free will, and you cannot change the free will of someone else. So, when should we allow our life to unfold rather than trying to force or control it? We should allow if what we want will be determined by the free will of someone else.
But we still have to go after what we want, don't we?? Yes!! You need to go after what you want when you DO have control! You need to take action toward fulfilling your dreams and adding joy to your life.
You want to go out with that guy? You control whether or not you ask him out! So, ask him out! But you need to remove the expectation that he'll say "yes." You need to ALLOW the outcome to happen. If he says "yes," great! Then you need to ALLOW the relationship to unfold. And what if he says "no?" Then you need to honor his free will and not become a stalker, or let his "no" send you into a downward spiral that keeps you single for another year. You get to control that!
You know what this all sounds like? Fear vs joy.
So, what is fear? Fear is worry, doubt, regret, guilt. Fear is something that holds you back from moving forward. Fear is something you control.
What is joy? Joy is laughter, inner peace, serenity. Joy is something that moves you forward and keeps you going.
Fear is holding on to the past - letting past people and experiences define your life, putting blame on someone or something from your past for your negative feelings. But you control this! You get to decide how your past affects you. You get to decide if fear is worth not creating joy.
Fear is worrying about the future - letting the unknown hold you back from moving forward. But you control this! You get to decide how your future turns out. You get to decide whether or not you want to live joyfully in the present moment.
This is also all about redefining fear. We're so quick to call something "fear" when sometimes it's our intuition sending out a warning flag, a warning flag based on love.
Say you want to go on this amazing personal retreat but the cost is causing fear. Do you throw the money in the air and say, "Oh well, God will provide" and then write the check? Not necessarily. You need to consider what is more joyful: Will you enjoy the personal retreat, even after the experience is over and you don't have any money left to pay your rent? If you will, great, enjoy that retreat! But if the thought of not having enough money to pay your rent brings fear, then maybe this fear needs to be redefined as common sense, as our intuition telling us that it's not the right time. This is based on love, Divine love, not fear - love telling us that our money could be more wisely and joyfully spend somewhere else.
And we also need to redefine joy. Joy is something you create. YOU CREATE. You. Just you. Even though that retreat sounds good and may bring you joy, you get to decide what kind of joy you want to create! Maybe you find it more joyful to spend that money going to lunch with friends, or getting a mani pedi. You get to decide if that guy saying "no" is going to keep you back from creating joy with some other guy!
So, how does this all tie in together? Understand what you have control over - your own joy. Choosing joy will help you decide whether you allow life to unfold as it will, removing expectations of the outcome, or you go after what you want with enthusiasm and wonder.
Whichever you choose, you will always end up where you're supposed to be - with that guy or a better one, on that retreat or a better one. Maybe you even meet that better guy on that better retreat, or better yet on that lunch date with your friend. You can't go wrong here when you choose joy, because it's not about a destination, remember - it's about the journey. And I for one would much rather create joy on my journey.
So the next time you're challenged with a decision - should I allow or should I make a move - choose joy in the present moment. Remove fears, remove expectation, and simply honor the energy of joy. This should make your decision much easier.
My name is Tami Hawley. I am first and foremost a writer. Words have been my life for as long as I can remember. I also happen to be a Psychic, Medium, Angel Card Reader, Ordained Minister, Reiki Master/Teacher, and Spiritual Counselor. I can be reached through my websites, TamiHawley.com and TheDivineDove.com.